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hotrod_mckay
hotrod_mckay
04 July 2007 @ 12:22 pm
Entry: 001  

Is it...YES!


Took some time, some of my bandages and almost all of my nearly infinite supply of patience, but once again I am proven the victor!

Rodney Mckay: 1, Stupid Alien Technology: 0.

Alright. Voice recordings are finally working, now that I have this…whatever the hell this was fully integrated. Since I could only assume this weird artifact or device was a communicator of some sorts, I have grafted it into my portable computer system, and downloaded that feature into my own PDA. In other words, I took this faulty technology, made it barely usable, and then made it better. With my logging of incredible accomplishments out of the way, here it goes.

To all personnel listening to this, my name is Doctor Rodney McKay. I am the Chief Science Officer for an incredibly important expedition, one that can't possibly function for even a minute without my expertise. During a routine inspection to a secluded area...

Okay, this security clearance explanation is going to make this impossible.

I was traveling through a Stargate to the gate address M7G-677, a secluded world that requested my assistance. I step into the gate from my end, and wound up...

Well, I don't know where the hell I am. There is NO Stargate behind me, and I can tell you for a fact that this is not a planet inhabited by bratty little children who just got over committing ritualistic suicide! This is not simply a “bad” scenario…this is a downright disastrous one!

I am requesting immediate assistance. I need to find the nearest Stargate and, if it's not too much to ask, a working DHD. I have activated something of a distress beacon, as I have no idea of my present location.  And if the word Stargate is unfamiliar to you, I'm sure one of the other thousands of names will ring a bell. Find me and I'll start listing them off for you.

Once again, I have activated a distress beacon. If any of you have anything resembling intelligence, you'll be able to locate my position with that alone. I will not be moving, so hopefully whatever primitive life is on this rock won't have too hard a time finding me. And whoever comes, bring food. I was knocked unconscious for an undetermined amount of time, and seeing as how the only food I have had was breakfast, I could very likely experience a hypoglycemia attack in the near future. The limited supply of power bars I have should be good enough to keep that at bay for the time being.

Incase I used to many words, I’ll slim it down. Find me, lead me to Stargate, and bring food.

-McKay

-Distress beacon has been engaged-

 
 
Current Location: How the hell should I know!?
Current Mood: annoyed
 
63 comments | Leave a comment
 
( 63 comments — Post a new comment )
Yuan: who the hell[info]guardian_yuan on July 4th, 2007 08:58 pm (UTC)
What in the hell is a Stargate?!

Perhaps, instead of complaining about your situation, you could have described this so-called 'Stargate'.
hotrod_mckay: Normal Rodney[info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 09:05 pm (UTC)
Oh lovely. Obviously if I have to describe it, it's pointless to even hope to find one.

A Stargate is a large ring that has thirty six to thirty nine runes encircling it, and eight or nine sections that light up when each rune, called a glyph, is encoded. Once all are encoded, it turns into a portal that allows for interplanetary and intergalactic travel.

Now that I've made it more clear, perhaps you could dash what little of my hopes I have left and tell me that it doesn't exist.
Yuan: skit-blank[info]guardian_yuan on July 4th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC)
I see...

Though I used to have a dimensional portal in my base, it only served as a link between two worlds that were already connected, and is now no longer functional.

These Stargates... They can be found in more worlds than one, then? That must mean they were created by someone with great knowledge of traveling between worlds.
hotrod_mckay[info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 09:32 pm (UTC)
Of course they were created by an incredibly intelligent species. They were called the Ancients, or at least that is what we call them. They made the gates and many...many other things.

Now then, if you've finished asking inane questions about things you won't understand anyways...oh what the hell am I thinking. Let me guess...you can't even see where I am either? I bet the most advanced thing your people have is the wheel.

No gate, no food...no intelligent life...

I'm a dead man.
(no subject) - [info]guardian_yuan on July 4th, 2007 09:35 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 09:44 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]guardian_yuan on July 4th, 2007 09:47 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 10:08 pm (UTC)
1/2 - [info]guardian_yuan on July 4th, 2007 10:15 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]guardian_yuan on July 4th, 2007 10:19 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]guardian_yuan on July 4th, 2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 10:38 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]guardian_yuan on July 4th, 2007 10:56 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 11:03 pm (UTC)
Klarth F. Lester: Geek[info]hunter_klarth on July 4th, 2007 09:30 pm (UTC)
A Stargate...

That sounds impressive! To be able to travel between different worlds with such a portal... It would be much better than the portals set up by ANTI!

So, how big would this Stargate be?
hotrod_mckay[info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 09:35 pm (UTC)
Thirty six feet in diameter, or about twenty two meters.

But never mind that. What's this about portals? Are these the interplanetary portals, or the simple room A to room b portals? If it's the latter, stop getting my hopes up and wasting my time.

But if it's the former...
Klarth F. Lester: sad/gasp[info]hunter_klarth on July 4th, 2007 09:42 pm (UTC)
I've never seen a portal that big...

They're simple A to B portals, which is why I said that a Stargate would be better than ANTI's portals. Obviously.
But ANTI's portals do travel interplanetary, and not just room to room.
hotrod_mckay: Pleasent Rodney[info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 09:47 pm (UTC)
Finally, someone that is at least TRYING to be helpful.

This portal your talking about...whatever the hell ANTI is. Where is it and are you able to take me to one?
(no subject) - [info]hunter_klarth on July 4th, 2007 09:51 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 10:10 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hunter_klarth on July 4th, 2007 10:21 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 4th, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC)
junesongproviso: >:}[info]junesongproviso on July 5th, 2007 01:27 am (UTC)
Wait, wait.

Your team: Is it another last, best hope for home?

I just want to be clear before I begin.
hotrod_mckay: Normal Rodney[info]hotrod_mckay on July 5th, 2007 02:15 am (UTC)
Well, not exactly. It's not like we're working to discover some cure for a super virus or a weapon against a superior enemy to save our own people. It's more of a scientific endeavor. Albeit, one that would be looking for potential super virus cures or powerful weapons or energy sources.
junesongproviso: chatter[info]junesongproviso on July 5th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC)
...oh. Well!

That's nice. Already too many of the former sort around, even if they can be interesting--and stupid, and short-lived.

So aside from being the only useful one on your team, what else do you do for a living?

[OOC: And if you wouldn't mind~ Could this little conversation be pretext to A STALKING since Albedo has been wandering around beneath Nhode? 8)]
hotrod_mckay: Sarcasm[info]hotrod_mckay on July 5th, 2007 07:18 am (UTC)
Try being close friends with a prestigious combination of ham-handed bravado and a tendency towards suicidal plans. Now that is an interesting, if not aggravating, person to know.

Um...what? Well...I'm a...that is an awfully strange question you know.

Regardless, I am responsible for the studying of all technologies at the...location...our expedition has inhabited, and then to put them to practical uses. I've been responsible for the development of a large number of systems within our expedition. And I remain the only one to ever bridge galaxies.

Just half an hour between Earth and us, where it use to take weeks.

There's a lot more to my job description, however most of that isn't important.

Now that I've answered your very intriguing and frankly alarming question, perhaps you can answer one of mine. I haven't got all the bugs out of this communicator/logging/whatever-the-hell-else system yet, so I'm not quite sure who I have the pleasure of speaking with. Care to elaborate?

[OOC: Go right ahead, I'd look forward to that. McKay with a stalker would be just the right combination of ego boost and paranoia. AKA, fun times.]
(no subject) - [info]junesongproviso on July 6th, 2007 05:32 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 05:56 am (UTC)
Kevin Graham: 07 Dialogue - Huh?[info]miserere_mei on July 5th, 2007 07:38 pm (UTC)
I don't think I can help you with finding this Stargate thing you're talking about. However, I might be able to help you out with the food thing. If no one has happened to get to you on that. You see, I've got this recipe that's apparently served on the flagship of the Liberl Kingdom's military that is said to help improve energy through a large number of vitamins. I've not made it yet, but it sounds pretty good. It's an omlette. Omlettes are great, too! The egg is certainly good for you, too. So no loss there.

...at least that's how I feel about it.

What would you think?


OOC: Made a slight change in the post. :D
hotrod_mckay: Pleasent Rodney[info]hotrod_mckay on July 5th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
Yes. Omelets are good. Much better than these powerbars.

Only...does this omelette involve any citrus of any kind? Even so much as a drop of citric acid would be disastrous to me.

But real food would help me calm down. I'm in some place called Nhode, which is apparently underground or something. If you are nearby, I suggest you hurry.

I've just become aware that I might die of oxygen deprivation, seeing as how I may very well be buried in here. This just keeps getting better.
Kevin Graham: 04 Dialogue - Grin[info]miserere_mei on July 5th, 2007 10:10 pm (UTC)
1/3
They are good! I agree! And... Powerbars? I've not heard of those before... Huh. Anyway. Um... Let me check the recipe...

Tomatoes, onions, fresh cheese, potatoes... monster meat and eggs... Nope. No citrus.

Such a shame really. Because oranges are great.

Wait. Are tomatoes citrus? I don't know. I don't think they are...

But that's besides the poi-
Kevin Graham: 07 Dialogue - Huh?[info]miserere_mei on July 5th, 2007 10:10 pm (UTC)
2/3
Wait. You're in Nhode?
Kevin Graham: 11 Dialogue - Wince[info]miserere_mei on July 5th, 2007 10:11 pm (UTC)
3/3
Like... the same Nhode that OSTA collapsed and we had to evacuate? I don't know if there are any working tunnels to get out of there still.
hotrod_mckay: iritated[info]hotrod_mckay on July 5th, 2007 11:16 pm (UTC)
1/2
...
hotrod_mckay: Sarcasm[info]hotrod_mckay on July 5th, 2007 11:17 pm (UTC)
2/2
Great.

Just…great…

Thanks for the morale boost. What do you have in store for your next trick? And now I’m even more concerned about suffocating. I don’t want to suffocate.

Okay, calm down Rodney. Breathe…NO…STOP BREATHING!

Oh, and I guess that omlette is out of the question now too?! Between you and that moron earlier that felt it was better to ask me about things he wouldn’t grasp in the first place…how much air have I wasted? How many hours might I have left before I die!?

This is all a dream. That has to be it. One big, ugly, clearly idiot-ridden dream. Now…wake up. There’s no place like home…there’s no…

…

This isn’t a dream is it?
(no subject) - [info]miserere_mei on July 6th, 2007 12:00 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
1/2 - [info]miserere_mei on July 6th, 2007 02:42 am (UTC)
2/2 - [info]miserere_mei on July 6th, 2007 02:43 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 06:04 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]miserere_mei on July 6th, 2007 06:36 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 07:40 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]miserere_mei on July 6th, 2007 01:51 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 04:22 pm (UTC)
1/2 - [info]miserere_mei on July 6th, 2007 04:40 pm (UTC)
2/2 - [info]miserere_mei on July 6th, 2007 05:28 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]miserere_mei on July 6th, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 7th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]miserere_mei on July 7th, 2007 01:44 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 7th, 2007 07:21 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]miserere_mei on July 7th, 2007 02:43 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 8th, 2007 05:55 am (UTC)
Wallace Breen: Indifferent[info]breencast on July 6th, 2007 07:38 am (UTC)
Well then Mr... McKay... was it? I unfortunately can't lend you any physical assistance at the moment. The best advice I can give to you is... good luck.

However, you succeeded at sparking my interest. Please, do tell about this... 'Stargate'.
hotrod_mckay: Smarter than You[info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 08:08 am (UTC)
That’s Doctor McKay

I didn't spend the last thirty years of my life studying and amending the modern laws of physics, and reverse engineering countless alien artifacts and converting them to practical uses to be called Mister by some elegant speaking simpleton.

As for a Stargate, I'm losing my patience now. It's a big ring with 36-39 glyphs that creates massive wormholes, or portals to be simple, that lead to different planets and galaxies. Now, if you have seen one, kindly stop wasting my time and report its location already.
Wallace Breen: wtf[info]breencast on July 6th, 2007 08:17 am (UTC)
My apologies, doctor. However, clearly a man of your caliber has no such need of the immature behavior that you're displaying. This is a time for polite scientific discussion, not childish name-calling.

Very interesting, doctor... but I've heard it all before. I'm more interested in how it works. Is it based off the string-based theory, or the entanglement theory? Or was my interest well-placed in a theory that both the unsophisticated minds of the resistance or Our Benefactors failed to see?

Indulge me, doctor... unless, of course, you're only worth the childish remarks.
hotrod_mckay: Sarcasm[info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, but do the words "distress beacon" mean something else in your happy little world? Because where I'm from, a distress beacon means someone is in distress. Not in need of conversation.

Unless, that is, common sense doesn't exist in your happy little world either.

And as for childish, I repeat. A distress beacon results in conversations about advanced technology. Add that I'm out of food, possibly running out of air, and not where I am supposed to be. So excuse me if I am just A LITTLE temperamental right now!

[OOC: Thou has incurred the wrath of McKay. XD]
(no subject) - [info]breencast on July 6th, 2007 07:42 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hotrod_mckay on July 8th, 2007 05:51 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]breencast on July 8th, 2007 06:08 am (UTC)
Toka Miyashita (and Boogiepop): Boogiepop[info]cloaked_shadow on July 6th, 2007 07:44 am (UTC)
You have quite the technology.

Children who commit suicide for ritualistic reasons, huh? Doesn't sound too far off from the things I run into while I'm here.
hotrod_mckay: Pleasent Rodney[info]hotrod_mckay on July 6th, 2007 07:55 am (UTC)
Yes well, most of it is reversed engineered. I'm not ashamed to admit that we had some help from outside sources however.

And as for the suicide... it was more a means of population control. There is this race of aliens called the Wraith that feed off life. Kind of like vampires except much less appealing to look at. It was their way of making sure they weren't culled by the Wraith.

Which was, oddly, effective. Most of it was thanks to the shield that surrounded their habitat however. Something that I, of course, made better for them. In the end we got nothing from these brats, so the whole ordeal was a moot point.

It did, however, provide me with a moment of immense amusement when one of my subordinates came back from a check up with them. He still degrades into a furious little rant whenever I mention that specific gate address to him.
 
 

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